It has been a hot one

The last week is has consistnaly been in the 90s every day and well into the night cooling to about 60 degrees then heating back up again the moment the sun is up. i live in a desert their has been no rain no humidity and me and J are roasting. We stay in the living room with the swamp cooler and a whole bunch of fans but i gotta keep J cool somehow because heat is a big factor in SIDS.
Their really has not been much going on this past week i havent made any picture worthy food and i havent gone anywhere. the only thing i have to report is i made a new friend, and this is exciting. As someone who spends a good 90% of her day with just a baby adult human interaction is few and far between so i got excited when my new next door person was sitting on my couch and talking  to me. So now i have a new friend go me! Other than that nothing to report except i got a new hospital grade pump and my supply has gone up just a little bit and im glad.

As promised

Well no exactly because i said i was gonna do this like two days ago and didnt but for all of you wondering i got my IUD put in last Wednesday because this baby factory is closed. i admire the people who can pop out one right after the other but lets face it i had a crappy pregnancy and i haven't gotten to the whole thing is fuzzy stage when i get their we will probably be having another conversation.
I went with the Mirena (levonorgestrel-releasing intrauterine system) because i have PCOS and i need some type of hormone driven birth control to keep my cycles somewhat on time and because i have always been a heavy bleeder and the chance of having light to no bleeding made me drool with envy, and its good for five years and pays for itself after the first year of use.
So i went to the doctors office got shown into the procedure room and the nurse started to get everything set up and mind you its a lot of stuff she pulled out of the cabinets and it was starting to freak me out. She pulled out the biggest metal speculum i have ever seen in my life ( let me tell you this thing was heavy duty ) and then i start to panic. i get this feeling of oh my goodness i should not be doing this maybe i should tell them i changed my mind yeah that it i will tell them i changed my mind even tho five minutes ago i signed a paper agreeing that i wanted this, may condoms arnt so bad.
Dr Mai came in said good morning asked all the normal questions and said well lets gets started, and then he was like this is gonna be cold and lots of pressure and i was bracing myself. i felt as he used q-tip i have even seen in my life to clean my cervix with iodine and then after that i really wasn't feeling much i felt something cold and then nothing for a little bit then i heard him asking the nurse to get the righ scissors and as she unsuccessfully located the scissors i heard the dr say the ones that cut and it was all that i could do to keep myself from laughing because if you had been there spread eagle with someone saying the scissors that cut when pretty much all scissors do that you would have thought it was funny, then came the bad part he went to trim my strings and accidentally poked the side of my hooter with the scissors and that was really the only part that hurt so i guess im luck. i had people telling me that it was gonna hurt for weeks so i was all prepared to be in pain. I was a little crampy afterwords but other than that it was smooth sailing. i have a follow up appt in two weeks to make sure its still there in the correct position and is not embedding itself into my uterus. And in two weeks Justin and i will be given the green light to have sex without a condom which he is pretty happy about.

You peed on me!

Everyone says when you have a little boy they will at sometime pee on you so far i have been proud to report that j has not peed on me! Well that was until today, i turned away for a split second to toss the dirty one and i felt something warm being sprayed down my side. I turn around to a big smiling baby who is still peeing on me and i give up. that's what showers and baby wipes where made for.

This little boy has discovered the joys of being naked and smiles just about as big as he can every time i go to change him today i am convinced that he was smiling because he knew he had peed on me.
Im going to start a new thing on nights when the dinner that i make is somewhat yummy looking im gonna post pictures of it so you can drool over my amazing chef skills ( yeah right! ) so for last nights dinner we had stuffed bell peppers now to some this may have been a easy dish but i have never made them before. they looked pretty but in fact they really didnt taste that great im sad to report

 Last night before we went to bed i caught J in a moment of cuteness like it made my heart melt

And then this morning i caught him in a moment of being pretty pissed off and grouchy at the world because he was hungry and Justin was changing his diaper and he was done with it

Oh well have a happy weekend, i will post about my IUD experience ether later today or tomorrow :)

Double take

today was J's first long car ride anywhere and let me tell you he rode like a champ. He was a bit fussy when we where getting ready and i was a little worried about that but the moment we pulled out of the drive way my little man was crashed out like the cat is in the sun. We drove an hour up to pueblo to go trade some stuff on craigslist that someone wanted from us ( little boys grow out of their newborn clothes so fast :( ) Well anyhow, we went looking at some home decoration stuff, and just browsing around ( we are in the middle of looking for a new living room set and didnt really find anything that i really felt like belonged in my house so we left to go to taco bell ( not healthy but i have been craving it!! ) we where sitting down waiting on our food when someone walks into the store and her little girl was in the same carseat as j was, i thought that alone was pretty cool, but then she goes on to talk to someone at the cash register and she starts saying how she just turned tow months old today and then my jaw dropped. J's turned two months old today and they are in the same car seat! What are the chances of the happening one in twenty trillion i think. J has an almost twin out their and it makes me smile to think about it.
I think for the next baby im going to make it a suprize so that was justin can tell me after i have gone thru the long labor and pushed the sweet secret that my body has been keeping ( we are hoping for a girl next time around ) But thinking about j's almost twin i got to thinking about the next baby. I have caught baby fever. while i didnt enjoy being pregnant I like the end result. I like the sleepless nights because im more of a night owl anyways and J so far has turned out to be a relatively good baby hardly ever crys and is a joy to be around. He is just growing up to fast and is now wear 3month clothes. I did keep a few of his onsies and a couple of overalls to start his baby quilt from ( im going to make him a quilt of all his baby clothes to give to his son/daughter )
But to my sweet little boy you are two months old today and you are still the apple of my eye the only person i have ever feel in love with so fast was your daddy. I have waited patiently for you for months and now that you are here i am enjoying every hug kiss and cuddling session. Every time you break out into you gummy grin and you coo back at me when i talk to you, makes my heart beat faster knowing that i get to enjoy your sweet innocence, and unconditional love every day. In some way this blog is a record to show to you when you are older so you know what the beginning of your life was like, and to explain how much i love you. Happy two months J mommy loves you.

Happy Fathers day

This is the first year that Justin is a dad, so last night i spent most of the night waiting for j to wake up so i could smear his feet with paint to make his first fathers day present.

Needless to say i was kind of tired this morning so breakfast didn't get started till almost 11. We had Micky mouse pancakes and bacon and eggs the most lavish breakfast i have cooked since i defrosted some eggos for breakfast last week. Needless to say we  re no very big breakfast eaters in my house we re more of dinner type of people. I love to cook dinner i find it some much fun to see what i can create. You can do anything for dinner you can do all the breakfast things that you wanted to do in the morning but just didn't have the time to do, or the energy.

In being a new mom i still have not gotten back to my peak energy level and apparently its going to take some time because its been 8 weeks and some change. After i gave birth to j i had a severe case of being anemic and i had to take additional iron supplements. i was miserable every time i would turn around i would be dizzy about ready to pass out feeling sick and just so ready to sleep all the time. its getting better but i wish that it would hurry up im ready to get back to what i was before i was pregnant. Im also ready to get back into shape. Having an eight pound almost nine pound baby and all the weight that i gained has left me with a less than ideal body shape and im ready to turn that back into something somewhat appealing. I admit the way that my body was going to look after getting him out terrified me. i looked on websites to try and find out what i would look like and i was horrified. It would take months to get back to looking like a normal human being not someone who was multiplying. So starting this week im going to be trying loosing weight, and every week on Sunday i will let you know how much i have lost so far ( or how much i gain )

Blah is all i can say

This has not been the greatest of weeks for justin, j, and i. J has been sick since Monday running a fever off and on, and so have i. I have a splitting headache that has gone on for most of the week that im poping pills like they are mints. Im pretty sure J and i are passing it back and forth between us and its getting a little old. Next Wednesday i go in to get my IUD put it. Its not that i dont want more children its just i dont want more children right now. I had a miserable pregnancy one that involved the doctor every week for the last three months and twice a week the last month. Strong medications and staying in bed all day. I guess i should have written more thru that part of it right?
Since J turned 8 weeks old yesterday i thought i would talk about some things he is doing now that he was not doing when he was born. He now lifts his head and looks around during tummy time and kicks his legs back and forth almost in a crawling motion. ( boy am i gonna have my hands full early on ) He coos in a wide range of sounds and gets more vocal the more you talk back to him. He can track an object that he likes to look at for about a minute but then i guess he forgets what he was doing and looks at something else. He smiles when you do something he likes, like opening your mouth and eyes wide, Giving kisses, and being butt naked. And during tummy time he has figured out how to roll from his belly to his back. My little man is getting to be so big and im dreading his next well baby visit due to his two month shots. i know their are some people who do not like shots but they where invented for a reason, to make it so they dont suffer from things they dont have to. I got the chicken pox when i was 16 i had not been vaccinated for it when i was a child and let me tell you i was miserable. i had a fever and i was broke out everywhere, that ment my eye lids, ears, mouth, nose. i could not swallow and i had to drool into a cup ( attractive right ) Some of the mothers that think that not vaccinating their kids is ok, haven't seen what polio can do to a child because of vaccines that they where given when they where born. Their is no link between vaccines and autism, my vaccinated child is protecting their no vaccinated child. But what happens when a child cannot get vaccinated and a child who did not get vaccinated gets a deceases and gives it back to the other child, bad stuff. Oh well im done with my ranting today time to go back and cuddle some more with my sick little man.

And it goes on and on and on

 j ad to go to the doctor on Monday or Tuesday i cant remember what day it was i have been so sleep deprived these last couple of days because of j's 2 month growth spurt ( wanting to be held eat alll the time ) I was told that he was dehydrated and instructed to give him about an ounce of water after every feeding, well i haven't really done that because my fear of water toxicity in babies, so i have been limiting it to about an ounce a day ( a little bit after each feeding ) and drowning myself in water as per the pedi recommendations. so on the plus side my milk production has gone up and on the down side i have night sweats and day sweats and i pee all the time. TMI i know right! J seems to be happier despite the spurt and i think all is going well.
In the last week he has learned the joys of being naked ( for my sons dignity no picture today as i dont think he would appreciate his parts being shown to the world ) Whenever i take off his diaper get him naked for a bath or just in general to take his temp or im trying to keep him alert for his before bed time feeding. He gets the biggest grin on his face starts cooing and in general turns into the happiest baby alive. He has started this deeper coo which im pretty sure is a precursor to a laugh which im sure when it happens will melt my heart and make me fall more in love with my little pee machine.
In other news i have gotten j to latch on twice this last week which is a vast improvement from none. ( yes i am exclusively pumping but the goal here is to get him back on the breast for my sanity's sake moooo ) Yes his latches killed me and the first few moment i wanted to cry but after he settled down it was a nice relaxing experience for us and he stared into my eyes the whole time and poped off about 20min later in a milk coma and went to sleep for about three hours. Of course good luck never lasts and the next time he was hungry he would not even try to latch and i was forced to give my baby that bottle, i always feel some guilt with it. like that bottle is a trophy of my unabilty to regularly nurse my child. I wish that i had someone close to me who knew how i felt. My best friend quit breast feeding because she wanted her boobs back, and i think my MIL thinks im pumping to go the easy way out, and shoves the fact that i should be nursing him down my throat every time i talk about J's feeding habits. I do have a group on BabyCenter.com that is all about exclusive pumping but its not the same as a real live person to hold your hand when you cry because your life revolves around a pumping schedule.

Running a fever

J is running a fever in addition to being supoer fussy not sleeping well and not pooping for 3 days this is cause for concern, so their fore i have called the doctor and we will be headed that way at four. 

Today'stopic is religion. Justin and i have been looking for the right church to join as both of us come from different religious backgrounds its kind of sort of a compromise. My parents are Mormon ( that's why he had a blessing ) and while i grew up Mormon i really don't believe in all the church taught. Im not sure what religion Justins parents are but he made it clear that he didn't really want to go to that church, because he did not want to irritate my parents. Thats the thing with inlaws is you are gonna make someone mad, and if your gonna do it might as well be the people you don't have to live with. But back onto topic we do believe in attending some type of church regularly. So the next few weeks we will be attending several different churches to see which one fits us.

"Thats gross!"

Since Justin and i are still on the younger end of ages to be having kids, we still have friends who are single who lets just say live in disaster zones. For the sake of his identity we will call him j's uncles cod-cod. Today i spent the better half of my day cleaning a kitchen that you could have gotten the virul plage from.

courtesy of Google images

It was nasty and i almost wish that i was the owner of a bio hazerd suit. Yes when you where younger you did have that friend who just lived in a pig sty untill he strated dating someone who ment something to him and he cleaned his act up. Lets also say i dont know how the kitchen got so gross because this guy does not cook anything that is not frozen so i dont really understand how it got as bad as it did. The only reason why i did it was because if uncle cod-cod had caught a virul flesh eating disease from his kitchen and died then Justin would have been really upset to say the least.

Onto other news J has begun to be more active and alert smiling back when he finds something enjoyable ( also known as a social smile ) and cooing like their is no tomorrow practical talking with me when i talk to him. he has begun to notice things that are further away from him and focusing on them. He has learned that he is the most handsome baby in the world and loves to look at himself in the mirror. J has started to sleep thru the night finally. He has his last bottle of pumped milk at about nine or tenish, then pretty much promptly falls asleep till about five or six in the morning when he gets to hungry and cant sleep any more wakes up eats four ounces and promptly goes back to sleep till about ten wakes up wants another bottle then its tummy time, reading time talking time and then back to sleep till about twelve or one, then up again for food back asleep till about four then up till he goes to bed at night. Yes i know its not the most perfect schedule but it works for us and im so happy to finally be getting a full nights sleep ( which i think in turn makes me a better mom because im not to tired to do all the things that im doing to stimulate his growing mind. No pictures today as i seem to have misplaced my camera

Rashes, pee, and dirty bathrooms

So this was the start of a good blog but my internet crashed and all it saved was the title poop. Hows bout we just share some pictures and celebrate that J is 7 weeks old today. Its hard to believe how much time has passed and it seems like im ready for someone to let go of the fast forward button and let me enjoy the little moments.

The little joys

So today after giving J his bottle of pumped milk i got rewarded with this

he grinned so hard he had to close his eyes and it made my heart melt. Onto to other news. i have finaly made a chore list for myself so i get things done around the house, while i would love to spend every moment with my son, i cant neglect the dishes growing fuzz in my sink ( just kidding ) I hope that maybe having a list looming on my fridge door every time ih ave to open it to put milk in it or grab some water i will be reminded to get my butt in gear. Because Justin works full time i kind of feel obligated to keep the house clean laundry done and dinner made. It would really not be fair of me to ask him to do these things after a long hard day of work so the most i try and ask is for him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper and to watch J while i cook dinner. Some days i wish for a break from it because it seems the moment i get something done their is another thing to do, its not like a job where once your off your off. If J wakes up in the middle of the night its all me ( but im happy to report he has been sleeping for one long eight hour stretch at night for almost the last week!  ) I wonder if any other stay at home moms feel like i do?

Tummy time

Everyone with a new baby knows what tummy time is. you place your little baby on his or her tummy and laugh while you watch their bobble head sway and weave around as your baby gets frustrated with not being bale to do what they want. Then as the weeks pass the slowly get better at it. Their head is up he is moving it from side to side, then soon comes the push ups, and you cry. It is a pre curser for crawling, and you watch their little legs move like they are crawling but not really getting any traction yet. It seems as if every moment on my parenting journey so far is coming fast, but i know they are coming as they are supposed to. Days and weeks have gone by and i still long to be back in the moment when they placed J on my chest and started wiping him off, and he looked at me with all the wonder of what had just happened to him. My little man is growing up and soon we will be digging in the dirt playing with trucks and he is going to be shouting,

"MOMMY!" "MOMMY LOOK AT ME!" But for now i will stare at his sleeping face and drink it in because one day he wont sleep in till twelve in the afternoon.

He loves to look around

Trying to get his head up

Had to change him because of a big blow out ewww

Lets talk about formula

While i am an exclusive pumper i cant pass up a super good deal when i can get one. Well im going to show you one.

Everything you see here was bought for a grand total of under 15 dollers. 3 cans of gerber good start sensitive powdered formula, 1 can of concentrate enfamil infant, 1 can of concentrated enfamil lipil, 2 small cans of enfamil premium infant powdered formula, two large cans of sensitive enfamil ready to feed formula, and one similac ready to feed advanced formula. I got all of these by using coupons that the manufactures sent me. I know that you should breast feed for a full year but i know that their are gonna be days that i need to supplement because when your pumping you dont produce as much as nursing. And who knows since i have over a 100oz's in my freezer as of right now i may not need to and i can sell it in one big lot on ebay and make some money on it. Or if their is a disaster and i get to stressed out and my milk drys up we have about 2 months of formula as it stands, or god forbid something happens to me Justin does not have to think about formula for a while. As of right now J is sucking down his bottle of pumped milk and enjoying it down to the last drop, and i know im preparing my family for anything that can happen.

Blessing duds

J's blessing outfit arrived today thankfully because its tomorrow! its a sweet little white boy suit with a hand embroidered little white vest to go over the top of it. The only downfall is its to long in the arms and legs! i tried it on him and it looked like he was swimming in it. So tonight we are making a quick trip over the Justins parents house to have her help me make is just a little bit smaller for my little man who was swimming in it.

my cousin made this onsie for J its so cute! At first i could not decided what the creature was but turns out its just a blob with an eye and two arms

Im sorry

I haven't posted in a while but i have been going thru some upsetting times. The other day two of my friends where in a major single car accident and died and one more friend was flight for lifed up to a bigger hospital with a large trauma unit. These where people that i used to hang out with alot my sister even used to date one. The one in the hospital they dont know if he is going to make it, that he might have to much brain damage he might be a vegetable stuck on a ventilator for the rest of his life. God is unfair sometimes with who he picks and chooses. I remember one thing i was told when i was younger that the shorter life the greater the warrior in heaven they where, that they didnt need to be on earth and prove themselves for that long here on earth. In a way i wish god had taken my firend in the hospital so he does not have to suffer as he does now, how he is going to feel when he wakes up if he mentaly handicapped. I cannot imagine what it feels like. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the familys that where touched by this. No picture today just a quote

"As they die, the ones we love, we lose our witnesses, our watchers, those who know and understand the tiny little meaningless patterns, those words drawn in water with a stick. And there is nothing left but the endless flow."
~ Anne Rice