Blah

I havent really felt all that great the past week and it has started again today maybe it has something to do with the heat but i really dont know. Im much more a cool weather person i love the snow and the wind blowing. But its not even close to that here its almost a 100 every day and that is miserable!
In j new this week he has started to roll over multiple times in a row! He suprized me when i put him down for tummy time ( i have been starting him on his back so he can roll over on his tummy to help him learn his new skill better ) he rolled from his back to his belly to his back then almost back to his belly! He smiled the whole time like look at me mom im amazing!
Justin and i are still looking into an FHA loan for the house which would give us the money upfront to completely renovate the house, im still on edge about the project because im not sure i want to live in rocky for the rest of my life, well i know its not a death sentence but selling a house now and days is a battle and their are just not a whole lot of people moving into this area. One plus is i will be able to make my dream kitchen with a dishwasher! Ahhh that would be heaven on earth for me because while i love to cook i hate to do dishes!
This week we have been lucky with a temporary addition to our family the beautiful Madison, and let me tell you it was fun. J and Madison are exactly 9 months apart and she is a handful. she started walking this week all over the place so i was constantly finding myself running after her then running back to a crying J then back to two little hand that did not belong in the trash can! But it was glorious fun and it makes me want the next little one to be here alot sooner than we are ready for ( not like thats happening thanks to my IUD ) But is has certainly reminded me of the time that is to come and hopefully when it happens my PCOS does not interfere with our desire to have more children.
I leave you with a picture of sleeping J for once i am thankful that he is sleeping on his back as he has recently started sleeping on his tummy. Any ideal on how to get him to stop rolling over and night its driving me crazy and it makes me worried about SIDS. I am constantly flipping him over but he just rolls right back!

cloth diapering

Im thinking of becoming a semi crunchy mom and using CD's any advice? their is a instal investment but after the first three months they are paid for and you never have to buy them again! Plus for a family thats thinking about expanding again sometime in the next year or two they can be reused for the next little one. with the money that we will save we will be able to afford a vacation woot woot!

the wasp nest in my window

so their is a wasps nest in my window in the computer room and it at first was fascinating till today when it went to scary when i looked in and saw not the one lonely wasp that started the nest but five of those suckers in their! i don't know where they all came from but needless to say five is to many and we will be getting rid of the nest tonight. it was kinda cool to watch it grow it has been their since i was pregnant with J and i watched it grow from some weird looking crap into a full fledged nest, if you ever get the chance to watch it safely i might add do it pretty cool to see it come out from nothing.
In baby J news we are going to the doctor again at 3pm today because J has been having a cough that scares the crap outta me and is hardly eating his bottle. This is the same boy that loudly demands his feedings and always gulps down what i give him and then loudly asks for more. I think im coming close to the end of my pumping journo. i have been pumping for about maybe the last two weeks and j has not been eating a drop of it because he has been on formula. But im tired of pumping just to stash it in the freezer. I hve well over a 1000oz stored up but if i can have the will power to just bite the bullet and eliminate all the dairy out of my diet its not going to make a difference. I have on the other hand been having an obber healthy diet as of the late. i guess it just makes me feel better thru the day if i eat a good three meals and day and healthy ones at that. So i might look into donating it. The last time i went about looking for some place to donate at i almost did until i read the finer print saying that the company made a profit with the donated milk. who wouldn't want their materials provided for free? so i sent them a rather mad email saying how when the encouraged mothers to donate to them they are indeed threatening the health of other premature babies who could have used the free milk. J turned Three months old today 1/4 of the way thru his first year of life and while i miss the moments when he was just a useless blob of human flesh i am glad that he can now interact with me and we have fun playing all sorts of games.
My sanity is going to be tested in September as i will be flying with Justin my parents and J over to Utah to visit my mothers side of the family. I have NEVER flown on a plane ever and i have always considered them pressurized cigar tubes flying buy who knows how a mile above the earth without enough parachutes on board for everyone. but im gonna suck it up and do it because im sure not driving 10+ hours with five people in the car one of them an infant that just sounds like a recipe for melt downs and yelling arguments that yes you need to pull over so i can feed him, its not like when you grew up!. But im still looking forward to it i have 3 second cousins that i have never met two who are about a month older than j and they are both cuter than anything you have ever seen! One belongs to my cousin Krista who i didnt see much of on our trips to Utah when i was younger but her daughter Mabel has the most hair i have ever seen on a baby and is such a cute monkey. the other is Jaden who belongs to my cousin Amy who was the cousin i was always excited to go see whenever we went. Jaden is such the little handsome man and seems to have a great personality. The third is Ronan Im not sure if i spelled that right but this little guy belongs to my cousin Jayson and is7-8 months old already and he has such and expressive face his picture makes me laugh!
I know this post is all over the place so im gonna throw you another twister and end with a picture of cupcakes that i made. white cake with strawberry frosting and a sprinkling of dark chocolate in the center they where yummy! and im glad i decided to whip the egg whites sepertly then in a different bowl made the rest of the recipe then folded the egg white in. it made such a difference, they where light and fluffy and had such a nice texture in the mouth.

pictures

since i have been slacking on posting my pictures here are a few from the last week enjoy.

He likes to sit like this

gosh playing is hard

what this i dont wanna wear this!

yeah im handsome

Did i ever mention how much i hate hospitals?

im pretty sure i caught something in that dirty germ infested place that we took our son to last Friday. I cant breath im coughing and im so stuffed up by the time this stuff clears up im gonna be 30! It all started with a tickle which led to a cough which led to me being miserable since my last post. J is doing fantastic on his new formula and im happy to report i pretty much have my happy baby back again and for that i feel blessed because i happy baby is so much easier to handle while being sick. I dont have the time right now but tomorrow i will be doing a full picture post yu wont believe how big my little chunker is getting at his appt he his stats where

11 weeks

weight 15.9 pounds

Length 23.4 inches

Head circumference i have no clue he wouldn't hold still long enough

Im so proud of all that my son has learned to do he now rolls over from his belly to back well and can roll from back to belly but it takes a long time and sometimes he gets frustrated and that ends up in a melt down of epic proportions. J sometimes wants to stand up with his cute little baby toes curled trying to grip what ever he is on and boy does he laugh! He talks to you and smiles like nobody's business. Ahh he is growing up so fast and its making me contemplate having another one but right now is just not the best timing. Justin and i found a house but let me tell you it is a fixer upper. It is GUTTED! But justin being the type of man that he is sees opportunity and i am the first to admit its kinda hard not to get swept away with his plans and talks of what is to come. I have to admit i am more in love with him every day and i thank god for that otherwise i would have to kill him lol. If we do end up buying this house its gonna be a lot of work but the chance to build it up into the home of our dreams is enchanting. Well its off to bed with me to go hug a box of tissues and maybe, just maybe get some sleep.

it was a hard weekend

At jasons last well baby visit i told the doctor the what was going on with jason and dr mai did a physical exam of jason and told me something very scary he had reasons to belive that jason had a thickening of the valve the connects the stomach to the small intestine  Of course i was alone at the visit and justin called alf way thru and had to speek with the doc because i was on the verge of tears he told us that we would have to make a trip to an ER about two hours away because they didnt have a way to diagnose it and if it was tru then e would have to have surgery to repair the defect and the closes hospital with the capabiltys to operate on an infant was in
springs. By this point im crying my eyes out and im thinking why was it something that i did lord help my child i dont know what to do. So we made the trip getting up to the hospital about nine at night and barely getting into a room about tenish. we waited and waited and finally a doctor came in to ask questions and said that they would be performing the test and soon an ultra sound tech came in to take j and i to the room. she put some of the ultra sounding gel onto his stomach and started to look around ten minutes later she opened up a two ounce pedilight bottle saying they needed to study how the fluids moved thru his stomach, and study they did about four times. We finaly got back into the room and a nurse came in to draw blood, and if you have never seen them do it off of a vein in a infant it seems pretty scary. they have you help hold your screaming infant down on a table while they use a syringe to suck blood from his body needless to say i was crying as much as he was and wanted to hold him cuddled up in my arms to soothe him. blood drawn down now by this point its almost two in the morning and i haven't slept hardly four hours in the last 48 and im about ready to pass out. i feel sick and the doctor comes in and im bracing myself to hear him say they where going  to operate on him. Then i hear the most amazing new ever they are not going to have to operate his stomach is a little irritated but the valve is fine! So now J is on a speical formula for sensitive babys and we are hoping this is not going to last very long because this was not in our budget to be formula feeding nor was it in our budget to be on very very expensive formula. Thankyou everyone for you thoughts and prayers!

i swear

the whole forgetting to blog habbit is gonna die this next week i will try to blog every other day but right now it hasnt been so easy with a very needy baby. In news this week Jason has rolled from his back to his belly ( that takes skills! ) her has been his pretty much set scheduled these last weeks well until this week this week is all over the place and is a hot mess

4am diaper change feeding 3 1/2 oz
4-7am sleeping
7am diaper change feeding 3 1/2 oz
7-10am play awake time
10am 4 oz feeding
10-12pm nap
12pm 3/12 oz feeding
12-3pm play awake time
3pm feeding 4oz
3-5pm awake play time
5-7pm nap
7pm feeding 3 1/2 oz
7-9pn awake play time
9pm 5 oz feeding
9pm-4am sleeping
im excited to see how much he weighs today and i will post an update on how everything went and how well he handled his shots gulp im scared on how he is gonna react but having the shots is better than not having them!

i have been slacking

on posting but to my defense J has not been sleeping well and has been acting strange, honestly i dont really know whats wrong and its frustrating me to no end. Tonight i am prepared to give J his first bottle of formula ever just to see if it will help him sleep for more than an hour. He has always been a pretty good sleeper sleeping about 5 hours in a row since his was about five weeks old but this last week has been hell. even during the day i haven't been able to set him down due to him being fussy and needing to be held and comforted and that does not mean well for my house. My family is planning on visiting my family in Utah on labor day weekend (shhhss grandma is not supposed to know yet ) but we are flying and i need to figure out a sleeping arrangement for J, i do not want to check any baggage as im afraid it will get lost and i really cant afford the $46 it would be. Yes i know it would be easier if we jsut took the car but who wants to be in a car for 10+ hours with a baby not me! so any suggestions would be appreciated

This is how i find my chunky monkey in the swing sometimes

first time in the high chair i think he enjoyed it

The good life

I feel so blessed i have my wonderful son and a man that loves me even when i get into a little tizzy and i think the world is out to get me. This next holiday is gonna be J's fourth holiday and i feel like his firsts are slipping by so fast pretty soon its gonna be this time next year and he will be so grown up.
In other new Justin and i looked at a house this week and let me tell you its a real fixer upper but im excited about the prospect it brings being able to make a home what we want it to be from the ground up is thrilling, if not a bit crazy. We will be making it livable one room at a time while living in it and i little bit nervous maybe a DYI project from hell.
In other news J's conception date is coming up soon, its a little weird thinking about it tats its a almost been a whole year since he has existed in some form congrads my little jelly bean!
Also coming up is Justins and i anniversary and im looking forward to it oddly i think i love him more every day even when i get mad at him for little things, and i think he puts up with me well enough!

I love the looks J gives me sometimes melts my heart and makes me laugh all at the same time!
On the pumping side i have to report that i am almost a proud owner of bronze boobies and i have not had to supplement with formula once yet so ten weeks and counting hoping for a year feeling blessed for every day until then

Its about three in the moring

literally, its about three in the morning J woke up for his night time feeding and i havent really been able to go back to sleep i have been to bothered by things.
the main thing i have been bother about is one of my friends got in a huge car accident about a month ago and has been in the hospital ever since well their was this girl who claimed t o have been in a relationship with him even tho he had pretty much told her it was over because she was in "love" with two different guys, well fast forward till today and i have been noticing her posting on his face book wall on how much she loved him and blah blah blah but i noticed that on the other guys profile it said she was in a relationship with him and on his wall was her posting on how much she loved him. Well my other friend told my hurt friends family what i had discovered and showed them the proof well they are choosing to ignore it even tho clearly this girl is using my friend for attention and it makes me a little angry because thats not what decent human being do and it frustrates me.
im sorry for the school girl rant about this but it has me frustrated and upset that he is being used, and yes maybe i need to butt out of it and stop being so snoopy right? Thats the last time im gonna try to be a detective on facebook :)