Every three months

Every three months Justin and i get an itch to change things around the house, so today we spent the day in work clothes huffing and puffing moving stuff around. And i must say im happy with what we did. I now have my own sewing place! We also had to re-do Justins man room because he came across almost 1000 comic book he intends to sell ( yeah right they are gonna sit their and collect dust! ) Yes Justin is a bit nerdy we both kinda are. I played basketball my freshman year i sucked at it i was on the c-team and i never saw any court time ever. Justin played golf in high school but thats hardly a physically demanding sport with all the golf carts and caddies in the world. We dabble in other nerdy things like computer repair, book collecting, and yard sailing yes we jump in our boat and turn on the hose and pretend we are pirates, J is going to hate us when he is a teenager.

I have been dabbling in sewing for the last five years and now i have finally decided to buckle down and start making my hobbies an income to support my fabric buying habbit. I have been making hair bow for little girls sadly i dont even have a little girl i have a boy! So maybe J might be shown modeling a few headbands eeekk! I dont think im setting him up for a tranny life so i think its all good.I dont have an etsy store set up yet so if you ever want one email me @ xI_Love_piratesx@msn.com Any bows shown are here will have a price + shipping normally $1.50 per bow lower for multiple orders

Fluff, black splash pattern w/ pink center $3

We are getting married!

Yes you jerk at the store we are getting married our child will not remain a bastard hank you very much no need to be rude to me in the line to check out. A little Q&A for any one who is wondering

When are you and Justin getting married? 
We will be saying our vows on 11-11-11 coincidentally i was adopted on 9-9-99 so its kind of a cool date we planned for 10-10-10 last year but our little speed bump came along and i didnt want to be pregnant during our wedding

Hows long have you been together?
Its been about two years now not long i know but we really enjoy one another and we are each others best friend

How did having a baby change your relationship?
Having a baby changed a lot. I have been working since i was 16 and have always been very independent, during my pregnancy i got very sick and was on bedrest from pretty much 26 weeks on. Justin has a wonderful job and he provides as best as he can for us, but it put a little damper on my fierce Independence i have always craved. We have settled into our new roles pretty well but their are some days where i snap at him or he snaps at me, hey being parents is hard! but our personal relationship had not changed infact i think we have grown closer with all the challenges we have faced.

How old is justin?
Justin is 23 and will be 24 this December on the 18th he is four years older than me but the age difference really works out well for us

You had a baby at 19 that means your a teen mom how do you feel about this?
Im actually really happy that J is here, when the pregnancy test turned positive i felt my heart drop and i hadn't really come to terms with it until J was born. I received a lot of dirty looks wherever i went because of how pregnant i was. Now it really does not even bother me i will be twenty at the end of this month and i will consider myself no longer a teen mom. Heck being young really has helped me bounce back after pregnancy well not all that much my jeans are still in the closet growing dust lol!

Its that kind of day

Today i spent all day in sweat pants unwashed hair and i cuddled my little boy. I held him tight smelled his hair felt his toes smelt his breath and ran my finger over his belly. I counted the hairs on his head and looked into his eyes. I came to the conclusion even tho a chart says my little boy is not growing right that he is not "perfect" he is perfect in my eyes and he will always steal my heart with his smiles laughs and little boy snuggles

On other news Utah family J justin and i will not being coming out in September finances have changed and with all the tests we are going to go thru its just really not an option anymore.

Four months

Jason is now four months old and it seems like time has flown buy so fast. As i type this im sitting in bed attached o my pump and that always makes me a little scatter brained so please forgive me. When i took j to his four month appointment, we finally started in on shots. ( Last time we tried to start J had a fever shot are a no go with a fever ) The normal height weight head circumference measurement are taken. Well my big chunky monkey is in the 8oth percentile for weight 25th for head circumference then here is the bad part. J is no longer on the growth chart for length. No he did not grow all long super fast its what he has not done. At J's one month visit he was measured at 21 inches when he was measured at the doctors he was only 203/4 inches long. That is only a inch since birth. She also noticed a slight bowing is his legs. This is now a cause for concern, their is a reason their are growth charts to show what is normal now i wouldn't be worried if it was only in the 1st percentile its just that he is not even on the chart he is below zero. Their are some tests that need to be done and x-ray on his legs and a ct scan on his pituitary gland. I will post a new picture of my little man tomorrow for today im gonna snuggle him.

My new body

i ended up a little over 200 pounds at delivery. i have stretch marks like a giant tree all over my bell along my sides down my legs across my boobs. i feel disgusting knowing that these will probably never go away im 19 and i look like an old lady. Justin says i look beautiful but i feel ashamed with how i look. I try to loose the weight but i never have been the type to loose weight easily i was 145 B4 i got preggo and i fought hard to be their i was finally accepting who i was and what my body was i even got two hip tattoos of sparrows to symbolize the peace between my body and me, they are ruined the stretch marks ran right thru them blurring the ink stretching them into wobbly forms of what they once where. I know it will take time but im still no at peace with what i have become, even thou i can looking into j's eyes and see his love for me

i wish i had gotten a pet rock

Well someways i really do wish that we had gotten a pet rock instead of a baby. i know im an awful mother for saying that shame on me, but who ever told me taking care of a baby is like taking care of a dog was messed up in the head. shadow poops and pee's outside, J pees and poops on himself i find myself wiping his balls at 3am more often that not. Shadow entertains him self a lot, J needs to be constantly held stimulated rocked laughed at. Shadow eats by himself, J needs me to hold his bottle or me to hold him up so he can nurse. See its not like having a dog at all lying butt heads!!
In other new this week i made flood and fill cookies for anyone who does not know what that it you take a sugar cookie and outline it in royal icing then you "fill" in the areas with runnier royal icing and let it dry, its a pretty fun hobby and i must admit that im hooked. More tomorrow!

It has been such a long week

This week has been such a long week and i was trying to take the time to enjoy having justin back. He was gone for most of the week last week and i missed him our first nights apart in over a year needless to say it was very heart breaking and very hard. i cried like a baby the first few nights but now im confident he could leave for a couple of days without a melt down from me or J!
In J news we have hit a couple of pretty big mile stones he can now sit unsupported for a small amount of time and loves to do it he works so hard he grunts and it makes my day! He also does little baby crunches all the time in his swing and will now really play with a toy if you give it to him, but most of the time it ends up going strait for the mouth. He made a new friend this week and we shall call him Benny the bumblebee. Benny is a pen with a little wooden bumblebee on the top that J loves to swing wildly about and put in his mouth. J ends up looking like a piccaso painting alot of the time as said pen has no cap, but it kept him entertained long enough for me to get the grocery shopping done and all of the laundry finished so no complaints here!
I had a very exciting find this weekend. Justin likes to eat hotdogs for breakfast i know really weird but its what he likes, he is a bit of a hotdog snob tho. He will eat pretty much any hotdog but  he loves those ballpark all beef franks and of course since they are all beef the are almost $6 a package well at Safeway they had them on sale for $2.99 a piece which is a great deal anyone want to donate to Justins good hotdog fund? well im going to post a lot of pictures to catch you up on J's progress and have a wonderful Monday everyone!

lovin his teething ring

yes my heathan child is naked alot

my cookies!!!!!

holdin his bottle

my aunt who loves me got me this t-shirt from Hawaii

i know its an old one but i loved that onsie

once again naked

some crazy erring i bought at a yard sale i love them

I went running

Well its was more of a light jog but i still did it i got all sweaty pounding the pavemnt but the plus side is i look pretty cool jogging with a stroller! its kinda nice having that strollers wheels turn on the pavemnt and knowing that im doing it! I was all sweaty and huffy but i was not in the nest of shape before i got pregnant so i fell ike this is a pretty good victory. My goal is to be able to run a mile without being all huffy puffy afterwords, and once i reach it i will talk about setting another one. As the dairy free is going not so great everything has hidden dairy so im finding im having to make alot of our meals from scratch to avoid it which kinda stinks even tho i love to cook and most of our meals are home cooked some nights i just want to make boxed mashed potatoes with real milk and butter! I have some picturese for you of J's first time in grass he loved that stuff i braved it because im alergic to it just to see him explore a new texture was amazing to see how he reacted to it!

I dont know why his feet look so purpley red in the first picture i blame it on the camera. This week justin and i went up to go get a computer in pueblo for my grandma and we took the back road home and i enjoyed sticking my feet out the window and feeling the rain drops hit them!

I hope none with a weird foot fetish stops by my blog this week that would be weird!
Have a great week everybody!