As it had been since J was born Justin is back at work full time and i must say today it has gotten to me worse than it has in a while. I feel almost like a single parents he leaves at 8 and for the past two weeks has not been home till 7 or later. It's awfully lonely and i would not wish this upon anyone. I can tell thats its really starting to get to me because i had a little melt down last night when someone knocked on the door and i had just got J latched ( something thats hard for both of us) and justin asked well what do you want me to do not see who it is. i melted down at the i said look and see who the hell it is and went to our bedroom and slammed the door. Justin just does not get how much of a struggle these weeks have been for me. along with the sleep deprivation the lack of having a partner is really starting to wear me out physically and emotionally. I know it will be better once he takes his next test for his journeyman's because he will get paid more and be able to work less but it seems like im sitting in a perpetual cycle that is dictated by someone who regularly poops in his pants. Oh well im off to take a nap and wait for Justin to get home so i can have some help.
P.S the wacky weather was it hailed today and rained, not really crazy but for living in the Vally it is
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