Blah is all i can say

This has not been the greatest of weeks for justin, j, and i. J has been sick since Monday running a fever off and on, and so have i. I have a splitting headache that has gone on for most of the week that im poping pills like they are mints. Im pretty sure J and i are passing it back and forth between us and its getting a little old. Next Wednesday i go in to get my IUD put it. Its not that i dont want more children its just i dont want more children right now. I had a miserable pregnancy one that involved the doctor every week for the last three months and twice a week the last month. Strong medications and staying in bed all day. I guess i should have written more thru that part of it right?
Since J turned 8 weeks old yesterday i thought i would talk about some things he is doing now that he was not doing when he was born. He now lifts his head and looks around during tummy time and kicks his legs back and forth almost in a crawling motion. ( boy am i gonna have my hands full early on ) He coos in a wide range of sounds and gets more vocal the more you talk back to him. He can track an object that he likes to look at for about a minute but then i guess he forgets what he was doing and looks at something else. He smiles when you do something he likes, like opening your mouth and eyes wide, Giving kisses, and being butt naked. And during tummy time he has figured out how to roll from his belly to his back. My little man is getting to be so big and im dreading his next well baby visit due to his two month shots. i know their are some people who do not like shots but they where invented for a reason, to make it so they dont suffer from things they dont have to. I got the chicken pox when i was 16 i had not been vaccinated for it when i was a child and let me tell you i was miserable. i had a fever and i was broke out everywhere, that ment my eye lids, ears, mouth, nose. i could not swallow and i had to drool into a cup ( attractive right ) Some of the mothers that think that not vaccinating their kids is ok, haven't seen what polio can do to a child because of vaccines that they where given when they where born. Their is no link between vaccines and autism, my vaccinated child is protecting their no vaccinated child. But what happens when a child cannot get vaccinated and a child who did not get vaccinated gets a deceases and gives it back to the other child, bad stuff. Oh well im done with my ranting today time to go back and cuddle some more with my sick little man.

And it goes on and on and on

 j ad to go to the doctor on Monday or Tuesday i cant remember what day it was i have been so sleep deprived these last couple of days because of j's 2 month growth spurt ( wanting to be held eat alll the time ) I was told that he was dehydrated and instructed to give him about an ounce of water after every feeding, well i haven't really done that because my fear of water toxicity in babies, so i have been limiting it to about an ounce a day ( a little bit after each feeding ) and drowning myself in water as per the pedi recommendations. so on the plus side my milk production has gone up and on the down side i have night sweats and day sweats and i pee all the time. TMI i know right! J seems to be happier despite the spurt and i think all is going well.
In the last week he has learned the joys of being naked ( for my sons dignity no picture today as i dont think he would appreciate his parts being shown to the world ) Whenever i take off his diaper get him naked for a bath or just in general to take his temp or im trying to keep him alert for his before bed time feeding. He gets the biggest grin on his face starts cooing and in general turns into the happiest baby alive. He has started this deeper coo which im pretty sure is a precursor to a laugh which im sure when it happens will melt my heart and make me fall more in love with my little pee machine.
In other news i have gotten j to latch on twice this last week which is a vast improvement from none. ( yes i am exclusively pumping but the goal here is to get him back on the breast for my sanity's sake moooo ) Yes his latches killed me and the first few moment i wanted to cry but after he settled down it was a nice relaxing experience for us and he stared into my eyes the whole time and poped off about 20min later in a milk coma and went to sleep for about three hours. Of course good luck never lasts and the next time he was hungry he would not even try to latch and i was forced to give my baby that bottle, i always feel some guilt with it. like that bottle is a trophy of my unabilty to regularly nurse my child. I wish that i had someone close to me who knew how i felt. My best friend quit breast feeding because she wanted her boobs back, and i think my MIL thinks im pumping to go the easy way out, and shoves the fact that i should be nursing him down my throat every time i talk about J's feeding habits. I do have a group on BabyCenter.com that is all about exclusive pumping but its not the same as a real live person to hold your hand when you cry because your life revolves around a pumping schedule.

Running a fever

J is running a fever in addition to being supoer fussy not sleeping well and not pooping for 3 days this is cause for concern, so their fore i have called the doctor and we will be headed that way at four. 

Today'stopic is religion. Justin and i have been looking for the right church to join as both of us come from different religious backgrounds its kind of sort of a compromise. My parents are Mormon ( that's why he had a blessing ) and while i grew up Mormon i really don't believe in all the church taught. Im not sure what religion Justins parents are but he made it clear that he didn't really want to go to that church, because he did not want to irritate my parents. Thats the thing with inlaws is you are gonna make someone mad, and if your gonna do it might as well be the people you don't have to live with. But back onto topic we do believe in attending some type of church regularly. So the next few weeks we will be attending several different churches to see which one fits us.