And it goes on and on and on

 j ad to go to the doctor on Monday or Tuesday i cant remember what day it was i have been so sleep deprived these last couple of days because of j's 2 month growth spurt ( wanting to be held eat alll the time ) I was told that he was dehydrated and instructed to give him about an ounce of water after every feeding, well i haven't really done that because my fear of water toxicity in babies, so i have been limiting it to about an ounce a day ( a little bit after each feeding ) and drowning myself in water as per the pedi recommendations. so on the plus side my milk production has gone up and on the down side i have night sweats and day sweats and i pee all the time. TMI i know right! J seems to be happier despite the spurt and i think all is going well.
In the last week he has learned the joys of being naked ( for my sons dignity no picture today as i dont think he would appreciate his parts being shown to the world ) Whenever i take off his diaper get him naked for a bath or just in general to take his temp or im trying to keep him alert for his before bed time feeding. He gets the biggest grin on his face starts cooing and in general turns into the happiest baby alive. He has started this deeper coo which im pretty sure is a precursor to a laugh which im sure when it happens will melt my heart and make me fall more in love with my little pee machine.
In other news i have gotten j to latch on twice this last week which is a vast improvement from none. ( yes i am exclusively pumping but the goal here is to get him back on the breast for my sanity's sake moooo ) Yes his latches killed me and the first few moment i wanted to cry but after he settled down it was a nice relaxing experience for us and he stared into my eyes the whole time and poped off about 20min later in a milk coma and went to sleep for about three hours. Of course good luck never lasts and the next time he was hungry he would not even try to latch and i was forced to give my baby that bottle, i always feel some guilt with it. like that bottle is a trophy of my unabilty to regularly nurse my child. I wish that i had someone close to me who knew how i felt. My best friend quit breast feeding because she wanted her boobs back, and i think my MIL thinks im pumping to go the easy way out, and shoves the fact that i should be nursing him down my throat every time i talk about J's feeding habits. I do have a group on BabyCenter.com that is all about exclusive pumping but its not the same as a real live person to hold your hand when you cry because your life revolves around a pumping schedule.

Carpet cleaners and the like

So Justin's aunt got hardwood floors and decided to give us her nice carpet cleaner yay! im defiantly not opposed to people just giving us stuff in fact a lot of the things in the house where given to us which is fine by me it means we can save our money for things that i really want like one of those one cup blenders. J is currently in his boppy bouncer in the front room while i am in the computer room trying to get a moments peace catch up on emails and look threw interesting things online, yes i know i could be cleaning the carpets with the new carpet cleaner but i think this is way more fun.Yesterday was a hard day J spent most of it eather actively alert or screaming his head off because he wanted to eat, now the guide lines for pumped breast milk is no more than four ounces at a time well because that's just the way it is so its hard when you just get done feeding your child to hear him cry for more. i was almost half tempted to give him some of the formula the hospital sent us home with but i think i would have felt super guilty if i had done that. my supply really didn't keep up with him and i ended up having to un-freeze two bags in my freezer stash of stored breast milk. It was a chalenging day and i for one am so happy that its over.
 Even the happiest baby on the block did nothing to calm J down and that was shocking to me, but next up on the reading list is baby wise yes i know i should have read all these before i was done being pregnant so i could be prepared but hey when you are put on morphine for headaches the last thing on your mind is reading.
Well im off to feed my slave driver another bottle to see if that will keep him content for a little while longer whill i attempt to clean the carpets.

bed sweet bed

tonights blog is from my bed, however long i will be in it. j has been so fussy today probably hitting his three week growth spurt. justin is snoring and im gonna be here soon