Blah

I havent really felt all that great the past week and it has started again today maybe it has something to do with the heat but i really dont know. Im much more a cool weather person i love the snow and the wind blowing. But its not even close to that here its almost a 100 every day and that is miserable!
In j new this week he has started to roll over multiple times in a row! He suprized me when i put him down for tummy time ( i have been starting him on his back so he can roll over on his tummy to help him learn his new skill better ) he rolled from his back to his belly to his back then almost back to his belly! He smiled the whole time like look at me mom im amazing!
Justin and i are still looking into an FHA loan for the house which would give us the money upfront to completely renovate the house, im still on edge about the project because im not sure i want to live in rocky for the rest of my life, well i know its not a death sentence but selling a house now and days is a battle and their are just not a whole lot of people moving into this area. One plus is i will be able to make my dream kitchen with a dishwasher! Ahhh that would be heaven on earth for me because while i love to cook i hate to do dishes!
This week we have been lucky with a temporary addition to our family the beautiful Madison, and let me tell you it was fun. J and Madison are exactly 9 months apart and she is a handful. she started walking this week all over the place so i was constantly finding myself running after her then running back to a crying J then back to two little hand that did not belong in the trash can! But it was glorious fun and it makes me want the next little one to be here alot sooner than we are ready for ( not like thats happening thanks to my IUD ) But is has certainly reminded me of the time that is to come and hopefully when it happens my PCOS does not interfere with our desire to have more children.
I leave you with a picture of sleeping J for once i am thankful that he is sleeping on his back as he has recently started sleeping on his tummy. Any ideal on how to get him to stop rolling over and night its driving me crazy and it makes me worried about SIDS. I am constantly flipping him over but he just rolls right back!

Its about three in the moring

literally, its about three in the morning J woke up for his night time feeding and i havent really been able to go back to sleep i have been to bothered by things.
the main thing i have been bother about is one of my friends got in a huge car accident about a month ago and has been in the hospital ever since well their was this girl who claimed t o have been in a relationship with him even tho he had pretty much told her it was over because she was in "love" with two different guys, well fast forward till today and i have been noticing her posting on his face book wall on how much she loved him and blah blah blah but i noticed that on the other guys profile it said she was in a relationship with him and on his wall was her posting on how much she loved him. Well my other friend told my hurt friends family what i had discovered and showed them the proof well they are choosing to ignore it even tho clearly this girl is using my friend for attention and it makes me a little angry because thats not what decent human being do and it frustrates me.
im sorry for the school girl rant about this but it has me frustrated and upset that he is being used, and yes maybe i need to butt out of it and stop being so snoopy right? Thats the last time im gonna try to be a detective on facebook :)

And it goes on and on and on

 j ad to go to the doctor on Monday or Tuesday i cant remember what day it was i have been so sleep deprived these last couple of days because of j's 2 month growth spurt ( wanting to be held eat alll the time ) I was told that he was dehydrated and instructed to give him about an ounce of water after every feeding, well i haven't really done that because my fear of water toxicity in babies, so i have been limiting it to about an ounce a day ( a little bit after each feeding ) and drowning myself in water as per the pedi recommendations. so on the plus side my milk production has gone up and on the down side i have night sweats and day sweats and i pee all the time. TMI i know right! J seems to be happier despite the spurt and i think all is going well.
In the last week he has learned the joys of being naked ( for my sons dignity no picture today as i dont think he would appreciate his parts being shown to the world ) Whenever i take off his diaper get him naked for a bath or just in general to take his temp or im trying to keep him alert for his before bed time feeding. He gets the biggest grin on his face starts cooing and in general turns into the happiest baby alive. He has started this deeper coo which im pretty sure is a precursor to a laugh which im sure when it happens will melt my heart and make me fall more in love with my little pee machine.
In other news i have gotten j to latch on twice this last week which is a vast improvement from none. ( yes i am exclusively pumping but the goal here is to get him back on the breast for my sanity's sake moooo ) Yes his latches killed me and the first few moment i wanted to cry but after he settled down it was a nice relaxing experience for us and he stared into my eyes the whole time and poped off about 20min later in a milk coma and went to sleep for about three hours. Of course good luck never lasts and the next time he was hungry he would not even try to latch and i was forced to give my baby that bottle, i always feel some guilt with it. like that bottle is a trophy of my unabilty to regularly nurse my child. I wish that i had someone close to me who knew how i felt. My best friend quit breast feeding because she wanted her boobs back, and i think my MIL thinks im pumping to go the easy way out, and shoves the fact that i should be nursing him down my throat every time i talk about J's feeding habits. I do have a group on BabyCenter.com that is all about exclusive pumping but its not the same as a real live person to hold your hand when you cry because your life revolves around a pumping schedule.

"Thats gross!"

Since Justin and i are still on the younger end of ages to be having kids, we still have friends who are single who lets just say live in disaster zones. For the sake of his identity we will call him j's uncles cod-cod. Today i spent the better half of my day cleaning a kitchen that you could have gotten the virul plage from.

courtesy of Google images

It was nasty and i almost wish that i was the owner of a bio hazerd suit. Yes when you where younger you did have that friend who just lived in a pig sty untill he strated dating someone who ment something to him and he cleaned his act up. Lets also say i dont know how the kitchen got so gross because this guy does not cook anything that is not frozen so i dont really understand how it got as bad as it did. The only reason why i did it was because if uncle cod-cod had caught a virul flesh eating disease from his kitchen and died then Justin would have been really upset to say the least.

Onto other news J has begun to be more active and alert smiling back when he finds something enjoyable ( also known as a social smile ) and cooing like their is no tomorrow practical talking with me when i talk to him. he has begun to notice things that are further away from him and focusing on them. He has learned that he is the most handsome baby in the world and loves to look at himself in the mirror. J has started to sleep thru the night finally. He has his last bottle of pumped milk at about nine or tenish, then pretty much promptly falls asleep till about five or six in the morning when he gets to hungry and cant sleep any more wakes up eats four ounces and promptly goes back to sleep till about ten wakes up wants another bottle then its tummy time, reading time talking time and then back to sleep till about twelve or one, then up again for food back asleep till about four then up till he goes to bed at night. Yes i know its not the most perfect schedule but it works for us and im so happy to finally be getting a full nights sleep ( which i think in turn makes me a better mom because im not to tired to do all the things that im doing to stimulate his growing mind. No pictures today as i seem to have misplaced my camera

Tummy time

Everyone with a new baby knows what tummy time is. you place your little baby on his or her tummy and laugh while you watch their bobble head sway and weave around as your baby gets frustrated with not being bale to do what they want. Then as the weeks pass the slowly get better at it. Their head is up he is moving it from side to side, then soon comes the push ups, and you cry. It is a pre curser for crawling, and you watch their little legs move like they are crawling but not really getting any traction yet. It seems as if every moment on my parenting journey so far is coming fast, but i know they are coming as they are supposed to. Days and weeks have gone by and i still long to be back in the moment when they placed J on my chest and started wiping him off, and he looked at me with all the wonder of what had just happened to him. My little man is growing up and soon we will be digging in the dirt playing with trucks and he is going to be shouting,

"MOMMY!" "MOMMY LOOK AT ME!" But for now i will stare at his sleeping face and drink it in because one day he wont sleep in till twelve in the afternoon.

He loves to look around

Trying to get his head up

Had to change him because of a big blow out ewww

What time is it?

I think by the crazy schedule we have been keeping in the hosea houshold my internal clock is off, well maybe it never got wound up in te first place so i guess i can have some slack from that point. i have never been one that is early to bed early to rise, no i have been the type of person that stays awake as long as i can before passing out. needless to say that kind of schedule does not work with a new born in the house. trying to adapt to a new way of sleeping when i have spent most of my life sleeping how i want to is hard, almost as hard as it was to not sleep on my belly when i was pregnant.

bed sweet bed

tonights blog is from my bed, however long i will be in it. j has been so fussy today probably hitting his three week growth spurt. justin is snoring and im gonna be here soon