Double take

today was J's first long car ride anywhere and let me tell you he rode like a champ. He was a bit fussy when we where getting ready and i was a little worried about that but the moment we pulled out of the drive way my little man was crashed out like the cat is in the sun. We drove an hour up to pueblo to go trade some stuff on craigslist that someone wanted from us ( little boys grow out of their newborn clothes so fast :( ) Well anyhow, we went looking at some home decoration stuff, and just browsing around ( we are in the middle of looking for a new living room set and didnt really find anything that i really felt like belonged in my house so we left to go to taco bell ( not healthy but i have been craving it!! ) we where sitting down waiting on our food when someone walks into the store and her little girl was in the same carseat as j was, i thought that alone was pretty cool, but then she goes on to talk to someone at the cash register and she starts saying how she just turned tow months old today and then my jaw dropped. J's turned two months old today and they are in the same car seat! What are the chances of the happening one in twenty trillion i think. J has an almost twin out their and it makes me smile to think about it.
I think for the next baby im going to make it a suprize so that was justin can tell me after i have gone thru the long labor and pushed the sweet secret that my body has been keeping ( we are hoping for a girl next time around ) But thinking about j's almost twin i got to thinking about the next baby. I have caught baby fever. while i didnt enjoy being pregnant I like the end result. I like the sleepless nights because im more of a night owl anyways and J so far has turned out to be a relatively good baby hardly ever crys and is a joy to be around. He is just growing up to fast and is now wear 3month clothes. I did keep a few of his onsies and a couple of overalls to start his baby quilt from ( im going to make him a quilt of all his baby clothes to give to his son/daughter )
But to my sweet little boy you are two months old today and you are still the apple of my eye the only person i have ever feel in love with so fast was your daddy. I have waited patiently for you for months and now that you are here i am enjoying every hug kiss and cuddling session. Every time you break out into you gummy grin and you coo back at me when i talk to you, makes my heart beat faster knowing that i get to enjoy your sweet innocence, and unconditional love every day. In some way this blog is a record to show to you when you are older so you know what the beginning of your life was like, and to explain how much i love you. Happy two months J mommy loves you.

Blah is all i can say

This has not been the greatest of weeks for justin, j, and i. J has been sick since Monday running a fever off and on, and so have i. I have a splitting headache that has gone on for most of the week that im poping pills like they are mints. Im pretty sure J and i are passing it back and forth between us and its getting a little old. Next Wednesday i go in to get my IUD put it. Its not that i dont want more children its just i dont want more children right now. I had a miserable pregnancy one that involved the doctor every week for the last three months and twice a week the last month. Strong medications and staying in bed all day. I guess i should have written more thru that part of it right?
Since J turned 8 weeks old yesterday i thought i would talk about some things he is doing now that he was not doing when he was born. He now lifts his head and looks around during tummy time and kicks his legs back and forth almost in a crawling motion. ( boy am i gonna have my hands full early on ) He coos in a wide range of sounds and gets more vocal the more you talk back to him. He can track an object that he likes to look at for about a minute but then i guess he forgets what he was doing and looks at something else. He smiles when you do something he likes, like opening your mouth and eyes wide, Giving kisses, and being butt naked. And during tummy time he has figured out how to roll from his belly to his back. My little man is getting to be so big and im dreading his next well baby visit due to his two month shots. i know their are some people who do not like shots but they where invented for a reason, to make it so they dont suffer from things they dont have to. I got the chicken pox when i was 16 i had not been vaccinated for it when i was a child and let me tell you i was miserable. i had a fever and i was broke out everywhere, that ment my eye lids, ears, mouth, nose. i could not swallow and i had to drool into a cup ( attractive right ) Some of the mothers that think that not vaccinating their kids is ok, haven't seen what polio can do to a child because of vaccines that they where given when they where born. Their is no link between vaccines and autism, my vaccinated child is protecting their no vaccinated child. But what happens when a child cannot get vaccinated and a child who did not get vaccinated gets a deceases and gives it back to the other child, bad stuff. Oh well im done with my ranting today time to go back and cuddle some more with my sick little man.

And it goes on and on and on

 j ad to go to the doctor on Monday or Tuesday i cant remember what day it was i have been so sleep deprived these last couple of days because of j's 2 month growth spurt ( wanting to be held eat alll the time ) I was told that he was dehydrated and instructed to give him about an ounce of water after every feeding, well i haven't really done that because my fear of water toxicity in babies, so i have been limiting it to about an ounce a day ( a little bit after each feeding ) and drowning myself in water as per the pedi recommendations. so on the plus side my milk production has gone up and on the down side i have night sweats and day sweats and i pee all the time. TMI i know right! J seems to be happier despite the spurt and i think all is going well.
In the last week he has learned the joys of being naked ( for my sons dignity no picture today as i dont think he would appreciate his parts being shown to the world ) Whenever i take off his diaper get him naked for a bath or just in general to take his temp or im trying to keep him alert for his before bed time feeding. He gets the biggest grin on his face starts cooing and in general turns into the happiest baby alive. He has started this deeper coo which im pretty sure is a precursor to a laugh which im sure when it happens will melt my heart and make me fall more in love with my little pee machine.
In other news i have gotten j to latch on twice this last week which is a vast improvement from none. ( yes i am exclusively pumping but the goal here is to get him back on the breast for my sanity's sake moooo ) Yes his latches killed me and the first few moment i wanted to cry but after he settled down it was a nice relaxing experience for us and he stared into my eyes the whole time and poped off about 20min later in a milk coma and went to sleep for about three hours. Of course good luck never lasts and the next time he was hungry he would not even try to latch and i was forced to give my baby that bottle, i always feel some guilt with it. like that bottle is a trophy of my unabilty to regularly nurse my child. I wish that i had someone close to me who knew how i felt. My best friend quit breast feeding because she wanted her boobs back, and i think my MIL thinks im pumping to go the easy way out, and shoves the fact that i should be nursing him down my throat every time i talk about J's feeding habits. I do have a group on BabyCenter.com that is all about exclusive pumping but its not the same as a real live person to hold your hand when you cry because your life revolves around a pumping schedule.

The little joys

So today after giving J his bottle of pumped milk i got rewarded with this

he grinned so hard he had to close his eyes and it made my heart melt. Onto to other news. i have finaly made a chore list for myself so i get things done around the house, while i would love to spend every moment with my son, i cant neglect the dishes growing fuzz in my sink ( just kidding ) I hope that maybe having a list looming on my fridge door every time ih ave to open it to put milk in it or grab some water i will be reminded to get my butt in gear. Because Justin works full time i kind of feel obligated to keep the house clean laundry done and dinner made. It would really not be fair of me to ask him to do these things after a long hard day of work so the most i try and ask is for him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper and to watch J while i cook dinner. Some days i wish for a break from it because it seems the moment i get something done their is another thing to do, its not like a job where once your off your off. If J wakes up in the middle of the night its all me ( but im happy to report he has been sleeping for one long eight hour stretch at night for almost the last week!  ) I wonder if any other stay at home moms feel like i do?